Liquid Diet & Midnight Snacks: 2 Vampire Satires

by Michael McCarty

INTERLUDE WITH THE VAMPIRE …. OR INTERVIEW WITH THE VAMPIRE WRITER As the blood-red sun sets over the Chicago skyline real-life vampire, Andrew Bloodsworth makes his way into WOLF 99.9 FM, an all-night radio station hosted by the beautiful Bella Donna, Goth queen of the airwaves. As Bloodsworth reveals how he first became a vampire and the dark secrets and desires of the undead, listeners call in to talk to the undead writer. Most of the listeners are vampire and horror enthusiasts who are overjoyed to talk to a real life vampire, but OTTO—the Opposition To The Occult, a religious right-wing organization—is also listening to the radio show, and they’re not amused. If that wasn’t enough, tabloid TV host, Harry Winger, who features equally outrageous guests on his program, wants Bloodsworth to appear on his show. Plus, the Amazing Kreskin, the world’s foremost mentalist, has just had a premonition of imminent disaster. What will happen next? Tune in to find out!